I’m not a lawyer. I can’t drive a boat. I’ve never been out very far in the sea. But I’ve heard that international waters are cray. “Anything can happen and it probably will” is a relevant saying from Hillsong’s classic ‘Church on Fire’.
International waters are dangerous I guess. Laws, what laws?
But did you know that the ocean has crept up onto our coast and done a little cheeky run into our suburbs? You don’t, do you? But you’re about to find out where international waters effectively exist in every city.
Yep. Dangerous like trying to light a fire with your eyes closed, a can of gasoline dripping from the roof and a newspaper factory 2.3 centimetres away.
That’s how I feel at train stations anyway.
I walk jovially from my house to a bus stop. I greet the bus driver with a cheery ‘hello!’ as I jump on the bus and I offer 3/7ths of a smile to the 510 school students all doing their best impression of a human-shaped pillar with earphones on. I jump off the bus whistling and skip down the road towards the train station.
And then everything changes.
Instead of joy I feel terror. Instead of whistling I growl like a possessive cat at a fish museum. Instead of skipping I start walking with an urgency usually only seen in emergency departments at the hospital.
I know they’re probably safe. But train stations sure feel like the one place anything could happen and it probably will. Laws? What laws?
The only thing missing is a pirate with a crew.
But then I see an 18 year old punk watching a clearly ripped-off version of La La Land on his iPad next to his three gangster friends and I shudder.
International waters have come to my city.
And piracy is rampant.