Why is it that KFC is so undeniably delicious? That’s how I feel about Starboy. Every now and then I’ll be hangry cause I had an early lunch and it’s now 6pm and I start dreaming about crispy, delicious chicken.
I talk to other people and they tell me stories of how they ate KFC and then instantly regretted it.
I eat KFC and I love it. Except one time when I ordered too much (I always order too much) and then vomited a couple of days later. I was SURE it was the KFC. Then a mate whose birthday party I had attended posted online about vomiting as well and so the unfair KFC claim to illness was dispelled.
This only served to strengthen my resolve that not only is KFC delicious but it leaves me feeling fine.
Back to The Weeknd.
This guy is a dropkick. I don’t even know him and I know this without a shadow of a doubt. ‘How do you know that?’ You ask. How do you know if a tiger eats meat? You listen to it sing and dance about how much meat it’s eaten.
The Weeknd sings and dances about how much dropkickness he has achieved. He is 15 dropkicks out of 10 if there was a scale.
But Starboy is delicious. Man I love listening to Starboy. Brings me joy like a piece of KFC on me tastebuds.
Why is it so good? I don’t know. He’s basically accusing everyone of causing him to become a dropkick including lines such as ‘made your whole year in a week’, ‘house so empty need a centrepiece’ and the main provocateur ‘look what you’ve done, I’m a mother (friendly?) Starboy.’
‘Look world!’ He shouts from his empty New York penthouse. ‘Why you make me so naughty?’
My answer to you Mr Weeknd (feel free to call me Sir Weekdy) is that I will continue to help pay for your ever rising dropkickness level AND even listen to you sing, dance and point your spoilt finger at me as long as you keep writing such catchy music.
You and I should defs hit KFC sometime.